From All of Us – Why Christmas Sucks for Animals

(originally posted 12/22/09)

The Hoomans have been threatening it for years, but last weekend, the threats turned real. They put us in hats and did a ‘foto shoot’. There was a backdrop, bows, collars with EXTREMELY irritating bells, and hats (hats with ‘Plush Puppies’ tags on them – do we look like freakin Mutts to you?? – SUCH an insult!). Anyway, here’s some comments from all of us and evidence from the Day from Hell:

Stretch:
The other 3 should be thankful to me because last year I ran away for a week before the proposed foto shoot. I was out for a week but decided to come back (it was way below freezing and I’d run out of things to forage for…NOT my fault!) Plus, I guess the hoomans were pretty worried and upset about me. So, thanks to me, this thing was put off for another year. I hate wearing hats as much as the next cat, but I must say, I look GOOD in some of these.

The Grinch Who Ate Christmas (and then Yakked it back up in your shoes).

I’d move if I could, but the bow is quite immobilizing.

Buster:
Ok, this was QUITE humiliating! I let the other 3 dorks get smooshed down and held down with bows and hats. I boogied it right on out of there. Unfortunately the evil hoomans found me and carried me back in. After a lot of hissing, I finally just plopped on down. STUPID hat! Then they caught me the next day and I just held still until it was over. I have evidence now though. As soon as the new year hits I smell Lawsuit – violating a cats’ animal rights by disturbing them from a pefectly good Caturday for this: The World’s saddest Kitty Elf – take a good look!

Stupid ‘Elf’ ear isn’t even curly on the one side!

Toes:
I’m usually a pretty laid back dude, but this was a bit much for even me. I decided not to look at the camera much and stay huddled up in one place. At least the blankie was furry and soft!! Stretch & Buster said mom and sis hooman moved to the top of ‘the List’ for this (I guess the List is who gets eaten in their sleep – not really my thing, but I guess I have a couple of months to talk them out of it).

Don’t I look nice in a bow??

Hats don’t agree with my outlook on life.

Conway:
Don’t tell Stretch and Buster and Toes, but I had FUN! I look so funny in the Elf Hat!!!! And I ripped the Santa Hat off and attacked it!! SO much FUN!!!! I’m telling mom and sis hooman that we need more hats!